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Today, there aren’t many trailers that cause a stir. But when the preview for Matthew Vaughn’s “Argylle” dropped on Sept. 28, the trailer took on a life of its own. It was repeated over and over again at nearly every AMC and Regal theater.

The trailer constantly makes reference to a mysterious “Agent Argylle,” which created a trend online. But of course, everyone then wanted to know who the real agent Argylle was.

That’s not to say bland, corporate previews don’t do the job. Anytime a new Marvel trailer dropped in the 2010s, comic book fans would anticipate the latest film with a geeky fervor that created a truly communal and cultural experience.

But in “Argylle,” spy novelist Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) finds the plots of her books reflecting the future actions of an actual spy organization, putting her on a globe-trotting adventure to learn why her predicted events are happening. With a premise like “Argylle’s,” a bulk of the narrative relies on finding out who Argylle – a character in Conway’s book – really is.

Unfortunately, the film’s story falls flat on its face like every other aspect of this 139-minute dumpster fire. Vaughn had a chance to tell an interesting meta-story that pokes fun at many of the spy genre’s cliches, but “Argylle” ends up becoming a cinematic experience chock full of them.

Take the opening of the film, where Elly reads the harrowing end of her book and we see the action unfold. We watch the fictional agent Argylle (played by a charming Henry Cavill) and his team of superstar spies (John Cena and Ariana DeBose) defeat the international terrorist LaGrange (Dua Lipa) in Greece. The following opening action sequence featured crumby CGI and felt as predictable as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west.

The blandness of the entire sequence was oddly intriguing, though. It was almost as if Vaughn was parodying the genre and his previous works, which include “X-Men: First Class,” “Kick-Ass” and the “Kingsman” trilogy. Maybe the rest of the film would be a clever spoof with incredible action. Unfortunately, this was not the case.

Like the opening, the film featured plenty of mediocre special effects and an obvious green screen that became incredibly distracting. Many of the action sequences take place in hallways or condensed indoor spaces, a trademark of Vaughn’s.

The director fills these hallways with colorful explosives and a ton of shaky cam. But “Argylle” features little excitement as Elly and her spy companion Aiden (Sam Rockwell) take on mostly faceless goons sent by the evil Director Ritter (Bryan Cranston).

Vaughn has given us reason to care about the action and, more importantly, the characters before. His filmography includes protagonists and antagonists that blur the lines between traditional notions of good and evil.

Heroes from his older films like Eggsy in “Kingsman” and a young Charles Xavier in “First Class” never know who they can trust, including supposed allies. The side-switching in Vaughn’s movies reflects a self-serving nature in a chaotic world.

The director tries to channel this sensibility again by placing viewers in the perspective of Elly. She starts to question Aiden’s motives as her supposed protector along with his boss Alfred Solomon (Samuel L. Jackson). The only one she can trust is her beloved cat, Alfie.

But screenwriter Jason Fuchs’ script offers no real surprise. Characters like Aiden, Alfred Solomon and even Elly’s own mother (Catherine O’Hara) become stale archetypes. As the plot reveals repeated twists, we find no deeper examination of any of the characters. There is limited exploration into Ritter’s organization, “The Division,” and why Elly can see hallucinations of the fictional Argylle.

We are rushed from set piece to set piece around the globe. Stakes feel so minimal that staying invested during the film’s final act is challenging. The film’s plot morphs into a goofy Roger Moore-era Bond film without any of the dumb hijinx. It’s just a boring climax with bad effects.

If you’ve seen enough movies and trailers, chances are you could tell by the “Argylle” preview that this was going to be terrible. But for all of the film’s inherent silliness and mediocrity, the trailer created memes and jokes in the lead-up and genuinely fostered discussion as entertainment websites literally created polls asking nerds who they thought the real agent Argylle was.

With an incredible ad campaign and a lackluster final product, maybe the real agent “Argylle” was the friends we made along the way.

Published on February 6, 2024 at 10:33 pm

Contact Henry: henrywobrien1123@gmail.com